With infertility struggles on the rise, more hopeful parents are turning to the internet for help in building their families through adoption. African American couples and women who are facing infertility are logging on to their computer to find resources to help them adopt.
Expectant African American women seeking adoptive parents for their children have increased drastically in the last year, even though the African American community has historically been opposed to the option of adoption. Opponents of adoption often state “We take care of our own,” and “We don’t believe in having anyone outside of our family raising our own flesh and blood.” However, this too has been quickly changing, as the internet is opening many new avenues for adoption. Women access the websites from a library or a friend’s computer if they don’t have their own.
In the past, if a young woman was not ready to parent, she just “got ready.” Adoption was not an option to her as a African American woman. The pressure from family and friends was just too great. She and her family would often raise the child together. Many African American grandmothers are involved in raising their grandchildren; however, some are unable to raise them because of poor health or finances.
Birth mothers now have many choices in adoption, and are making decisions for the good of their child and for themselves, instead of relying on their families. This marks a new view of adoption for African American birth parents.
Shauna was 19 when she became pregnant for the first time. “I felt terrible. I was raised in the church, and my mother raised us to get ahead and have a good future.” She remembers the conversation in her mother’s kitchen. “Mom, I want to finish college,” Shauna pleaded. “I want a career; I want more than you have. I’m not ready to be a mother.” Her mother slapped Shauna and left the room. She was asked to leave the house, and that’s when she decided to look at adoption. “None of my family supported me, and I knew I wanted to do more. I knew I couldn’t take care of a baby either. Adoption was the best answer for me”.
As more African American women start to attend college away from their families, they do not want to give up their independence to raise a child. Others have said that their parents have stated “you made your bed, now sleep in it,” offering no help at all. Increasingly, more African American women are choosing adoption, even if it means their family may be upset for a while about their choice. They feel they can live with that in order to give their child a good life.
Women facing an untimely pregnancy are turning in larger numbers to the web to find resources, services and support. The internet allows birth mothers to research and read about adoption in the privacy of their homes. This is allowing families and birth mothers to work with organizations across the country, such as Lifetime Adoption, which has an African American Enrichment program, and does more than 120 adoptions every year.
22 year old Sheila was seeking to relocate out of state until the birth and then wanted to return home to continue her career. She said, “It’s no one’s business but mine.” Since 1996, internet adoption sites have more than quadrupled. In the past it would have been difficult for prospective adoptive parents for example in Michigan to meet a birth mother in California. Now, wIth web sites like African American Adoptions and Bi-Racial Adoptions adoption answers are at everyone’s fingertips anytime of the day. Birthmothers can read about waiting adoptive families of all races, view their photos, and read their online “dear birthmother” letters before speaking to them on the phone.
The site Lifetime Adoption includes the confidential posts of over 200 birth mothers of all ages who are seeking adoptive families. Many of them are African American women. Lifetime states “it is not uncommon for a birthmother to email or call after finding three families she is interested in speaking to, just from reading their profiles on the web site.” African American families are often matched very quickly. Most birthmothers are requesting married couples with traditional values and some faith in God, with at least one parent who is African American.
Some women are comfortable contacting families of another race, as long as the family has already adopted a child who is African American or bi-racial. Other women are open to families of all races, as long as the family will maintain the African American culture with their child. When it comes to contact after adoption, many birthmothers would like to exchange letters and photos with their birth child after they are adopted. Others want little or no contact. Many birthmothers have children already, but for others this is their first
African American as well as biracial hair care for adoptive parents can be a mystery easily solved with some very simple solutions. Just like a great dish without the recipe you can not make it. There are parents of African American children that opt to just cut off the hair of the child rather than having the child endure the painful process of hairstyling because of ignorance.
This may be what is best at the time for both mother and child. However, the child learns to dislike their hair like many today. They also have very grim memories as adults about the pain they went through as children.
You can make doing your African American child’s hair care process a more enjoyable one by becoming educated in the up keep of this very unique and versitile hair. You can also instill a since of pride in your child by allowing him or her to proudly wear appropriate hairstyles other than the short dry cut.
Make hair grooming an enjoyable time and never use derogatory language during styling.
This will only make your child feel bad and insecure.
10 Tips To Beautiful African American Hair Care
Never wear tight hairstyles. This will cause pain, future balding (alopecia) and damaging to the scalp.
Always protect hair at night with satin cap. This will prevent dryness and maintain hairstyle. Dry hair breaks.
Oil and moisturize hair every 3-5 days depending on how dry the scalp gets. This hair is more healthy with oils and moisturizer, it produces natural oil at a very slow rate and needs help.
Scalp should be oiled and shampood even when braided for long periods of time to prevent damage and extreme hairloss during removal.
Little boys hair should be cut every two week for neat look.
Ponytails barretts should never be slept in. This will break hair.
Use attachment combs when blowdrying for easier combing afterwards.
Never condition hair with hot heat. This will cause the conditioner to reach high temperatures and damage scalp.
Use moisturizing shampoos designed for African American hair to detangle hair.
Comb thick hair with wide tooth comb.
Darlene Matthews is a 30 year veteran hairstylist. Ms. Matthews is experienced in all hairtypes and methods. Her specialties cover such areas as lace wigs,weaves,braids,color,chemical relaxing, hair growth, and so many more. For more great hair care information about African American hair please visit. http://HairByDarlene.blogspot.com
African American Adoption joins Cox Local Edition to discuss adoption in Virginia.
Video Rating: 5 / 5
I have seen a lot of mixed race adoption over the year. We see a lot of that in Hollywood with regarding to mixed race adoption. Angelina Jolie adopted an Asian boy, and an African-American child where she and Brad Pitt are Caucasians. It seems that they really loved all those children but it’s easier for Angelina Jolie because she has more than 3 billion dollars. I think for a regular family, they would have a harder time managing the mixed race child if they also have other children that are from a different race in the house. This is not always is the case because most people have a very open heart and racism doesn’t occur at all. I have one friend who was Chinese and was adopted by a Caucasian women. My friend says that she had a wonderful experience growing up and she had no problem at all. Racism doesn’t always happened.
If a couple have decided to adopt than it’s proof that they have tremendous interests in children and the love and commitment to take care of the child. Therefore we won’t have to worry about the children suffering from emotional issues that much. The adoption process is very long and costly with so much scrutiny that if a person was granted a child, I don’t think they would take that child in vein. I have a strong believe that adopted parents are great parents because I have over the years how foster parents or adopted parents treated their children with so much love and respect. Meg Ryan is a celebrity and she adopted a Chinese girl. Meg Ryan has expressed to the media how much of a great bond she has between the girl. She seems to love the girl very well and always carrying the girl in her arms. I haven’t witnessed or heard any unethical stories about adopted parents being racist again their children.
I have had street parents before where they like to look at me as their child. My parents were Caucasians and I’m not. They were from Italy. They were wealthy films executive. They showed me a lot of love and respect. I was very honor to have someone very famous pay attention to me. I have never doubted their love and I feel that most other adopted parents do the same way.
I use to work in a hospital before and I’ve seen a lot of adoption took place. Adoption were from the doctors to their terminally ill patients. It was the best thing to see that out of their busy schedules they would bring the baby home who needs a lot of medical attention and took care of them. A lot of those adoption were mixed racial. It was very sad one time when one of the baby they adopted ended up dying. She was terminally ill anyway and she could not survive. I have heard a lot of wonderful and miraculous stories about mixed race adoption but I haven’t experienced or heard of any bad one. I don’t think it’s a major concern for most people.
Written by kay_pierre
Question by This file deleted: Embryo adoption & African American?
Has anyone had any success with it? Please, this a simple question. I’m researching this as well as traditional adoption. Do not post negative opinions. If there are any links for, embryo adoptions by african american couples, please advise. Thanks for your help.
Answer by chiquita11
i’m not sure about embryo adoptions, but you could look into having a surrogate as well, you might be able to find more infor on embryo transfers here, try fertilityties.com
best of luck!!!!!!
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