Q&A: Adoption advice from someone with experience?

Question by Olivia: Adoption advice from someone with experience?
I am 23 years old, I have a job and I’m currently in college getting my degree for teaching. I’m renting a house with my fiance who also has a job. I have a cousin who is 17 and pregnant, she is not by any means fit to be a parent, and she is choosing to give the baby up. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, and we were actually planning to start TTC after our wedding in June. We’ve also both thought about adopting and agreed that it’s something we want to be a part of some day.

If both of the baby’s parents are willing to sign over their parental rights to us and we are married before the baby is born, Is there any reason why we wouldn’t get custody? I’m worried about my age, being that I am not much older than the baby’s biological mom. I’m also not sure about all of the requirements and steps we should be taking.

I’m doing research and figuring everything out on my own, of course, but I wanted to hear from someone who has actually been through the adoption process what I should be expecting. I have no experience with adoption at all, and we just found out about the baby yesterday. Thank you all for your help! (:

Best answer:

Answer by Zelda
http://youtu.be/3RZSJLNBHDk
This video talks about what it is like to be adopted and the hardships adopted people face. It was only posted a few days ago but has gone viral

You should help to keep the baby in their own family. Being young and unfit is a temporary problem. Get guardianship for a while and see if the mother changes her mind.

What do you think? Answer below!

A couple’s journey through adoption.

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3 thoughts on “Q&A: Adoption advice from someone with experience?”

  1. Domestic adoption is governed by state law, so it’s best to start with your state’s Social Services or DCFS website and research “who can adopt” and “relative adoptions”.

    If you can’t find what you’re looking for, try this site from the US Dept of Health and Human Services: https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/

    Many states set the age limit at 21. A few states are younger, a few are older. Some states require a full “home study” for relative adoptions, some don’t.

    “Signing over parental rights” isn’t quite accurate. If they decide to, they will terminate their parental rights, making the baby available for adoption.

    For truly accurate information, contact a reputable attorney.

  2. Typically there will be some fees, you could most likely get guardianship. Adoption is possible, but when its with in a family it can create family friction. Jealousy and drama can arise. Typically even with in family you will need to have your home life and everything looked into to some degree, it depends on where you live how much they will have you do. I recently adopted a new baby (i already adopted my now 6 year old from the same parent) and the fees for court, lawyers etc were a little over $ 8,000. It actually was finalized in court this morning.

    The other thing is she is 17 she is young, hormonal and feels like she cant do it, but afterwards she may feel differently or just cant bare the pain to lose the baby and she will have 30 days to change her mind. that alone could cause a huge family conflict. but legally its her right to make her decision and it isn’t fair to pressure her or make her feel like she cant do it. typically with infant adoption they dont like a whole lot of contact about it because at a later date the natural mother could come back and say she was tricked or lied to and possibly take the baby back… its rare but it can happen. I recommend talking to an adoption agency or adoption lawyer to find out more about it in your state as it can vary widely.

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