Q&A: How can i give my partner custody of my child as well so she’s “ours”?

Question by Alex Chick: How can i give my partner custody of my child as well so she’s “ours”?
I’m almost 18 and I’m pregnant. I’m bisexual, been with my girlfriend for 3 years. Please don’t give me any stupid lecture.. I cheated on her and got pregnant at one point. But she forgave me and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. I know gay couples can adopt children, but if she adopts my baby, how much would it cost?

Best answer:

Answer by David S
You need the professional help of an attorney, not the airy opinions of a bunch of high school kids in cyber space.

What do you think? Answer below!

Adoption – Henri & Malina We laugh a lot in our family. Although from the outside we may look like a serious and studious family, each member of the family enjoys making the others laugh. Any activity we do together is an occasion for jokes, teasing and just plain good humor. We love playing board games, watching comedy on TV and impersonating the characters, or simply creating and filming slapstick comedy at home. Henry’s father was himself a successful and happy adoptive son. Both Malina and Henry were born and raised abroad, and came to this beautiful country more than 20 years ago. We like to keep our heritage vibrant, and go back every summer to Europe where we visit our families, and spend a peaceful yet active vacation in our summer home in the Swiss Alps, hiking, reading, playing tennis and entertaining. We speak two languages at home, French and English, and keep a few more up our sleeve (Spanish, German, and Serbian). Our child will be raised bilingual, multicultural and well-traveled. As tenured university professors, we are fortunate to have extremely stable jobs and a financially secure situation. Teaching is our vocation, and we love helping young people develop their dreams and acquire knowledge. Our creative side has helped us to fruitfully combine work and leisure; Henry is no less accomplished as a jazz piano player than a mathematician (he even had a band for a while), while Malina’s hobbies are art photography and literature and, after two scholarly

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3 thoughts on “Q&A: How can i give my partner custody of my child as well so she’s “ours”?”

  1. i think it all depends on the adoption agency lol…wish i could help more…..but i honestly never had any situation like this come up in conversation…..good luck tho….all i can say is get a good attorney…..and i would definitely research it on the internet and find adoption centers or something like that

  2. not too sure how it works but i’ve always said, if i have children in the future with my partner, whoever didn’t concieve the child, i’d want to get legal gaurdianship. This would ensure that the baby would stay with the gaurdian in the event that something happened to the birth mother etc. Phone up a legal office or government agency and they should be able to advise you. And the ‘advising’ should be free of charge.
    Good luck with it all 🙂

  3. Your most important recourse is to go to a knowledgable lawyer who will understand and empathize with your case. You need sound legal advice, and I doubt that you will be satisfied with any answers that will be posted here.

    That said, what I remember is based on the lengthy story arc of Melanie and Lindsay from Queer As Folk (USA). Your partner has to apply for something called a “co-parent adoption”, which would ensure that whatever happens to either one of you, there will always be a parent for the child. The tricky part (and much of the “drama” in the QAF show about it) is if the biological father will contest or waive his rights to the child.

    From what you have stated, the father seems to be “out of the picture”, or at least, disinterested (as I don’t hear anything about him at all). You will have to make sure that he will go for waiving his parental rights, because if later on in life, he decides to “reintroduce” himself as the “rightful” father, the co-parent adoption can go for naught, since the courts are always partial to the child going with his/her biological parents. Papers will have to be drawn up to make this a legal contract (which the father has to sign to surrender his rights, so don’t burn your bridges first with him.)

    As I am not American, I really don’t know how much it will cost you. I suggest doing a lot of research first, as well as asking the appropriate government agencies for advice on how to go about the whole process.

    Good luck, and I’m glad you are thinking ahead for the future of your child.

    EDIT: David! This is the THIRD time that we sound eerily alike with our answers, nyahaha! Hi!!! =p

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